It is Spring again! I was born in and lived in the Northern states for most of my life. I always heard how people ‘loved the change of seasons.’ I do not think I ever loved the frozen unpredictable winters in the North. Nevertheless, I have experienced the strange, but true, fact that there is no real difference in the seasons in Florida. It is perpetually summer. A little cooler and less humid at times, however, mostly shorts, tanks, and flip flop weather. The flowers do not die. I never saw this as a problem since I like summer, but we can never tell what season it is. Only the shortening of the days gives a hint of Winter. Nature knows the seasons though.

One time, several Springs ago, my mother and I were walking a path in a nearby refuge. All of the sudden, we came upon the most beautiful site I have ever seen! A couple of Sand Hill Cranes were strolling along the path with a little yellow baby walking between them. As we passed, we did our ‘baby’ talk to everyone as the birds let us continue on. I regret I did not have a camera with me. There have been so many times I have been without a camera. Manatees came along in rivers I was walking by or kayaking on, an eagle landed on Daytona Beach while I was within camera distance, otters played in a little river, armadillos rooted in leaves along a path at Blue Springs State Park, a Wood Crane, gopher turtles trucking down the road, and many other sites I only have the incredible memories locked into my brain to cherish, but, sad to report, no pictures on my Nikon camera.

One of the signs that it is Spring again is the presence of the babies. This Spring, I set out with a mission to locate and take pictures of a family of Sand Hill Cranes. I hoped to have the same good fortune to see a family walking along the path again, so, outfitted with walking shoes and my camera, my good friend and I went to see if we would spot a photogenic family. No luck. Discouraged, I concluded that I only saw beautiful sites if I did not have my camera.

Then, a day later, while driving on a busy two lane to my brother’s home, WHAT DO MY WONDERING EYES BEHOLD? Eight tiny legs- 4 tinier than their parents- were a mom and dad Sand Hill Crane with – not one- but two – babies!!!! Yes, I slammed on the breaks, pulled over, tried to back up- didn’t go well- got out of my truck with little regard for the potential danger from oncoming vehicles, and shuffled my way to the family- WITH my Nikon camera in hand. They saw me and walked the other direction. I could not believe it! I called them to tell them the picture would be better if they walked my way. They disregarded my pleas. Without shame, I continued to try to get them to pose. Then, a couple very nice ladies saw me and the birds. They wanted a coveted photo, so they pulled over, interfering with traffic behind them- but who cares when the perfect photo is at stake-and they were able to get a photo of the family coming their way. This family was not having any of it though. Didn’t they know how lovely they are and how precious a photo would be? They began to turn and come my way!! Excited, I began to focus my camera, but they didn’t want to be by me either, so they ducked into the woods that bordered the road. Being the photographer I am, I began to follow them to try to get a photo. Then, the dad positioned himself between me and the rest of the family. He gave a warning coo- sounds like a wood pecker pecking wood. I assured him I was a friend and just wanted a picture. He assured me he would be forced into action if I did not retreat.

I didn’t get my prized photo yet like the one in this blog, but it’s still Spring! and my hopes are still high that I can snap the best pictures of these lovely creatures. Wish me luck! Remember to always take your camera.

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Many times in life I have been in a position to choose to forgive those who have hurt me in some way or hold a grudge. To be honest, sometimes I find myself wishing the ‘bad’ people would ‘get theirs.’ Always been told ‘what goes around comes around.’ Sometimes it surprises me how angry I am to be hurt and would be happy if ‘not so nice things’ happen to my offenders. After a time of self pity, I realize that is not what’s best for me and I don’t want to be the type of person who wishes harm to others.

Jesus reminds me how He leads the way for us, as always. Easter may be over, but the greatness of that day remains every day. On that day so many years ago, after they beat Him, spit on Him, pulled His beard, took His clothes off and mocked Him, shoved a crown of thorns on His head and nailed Him to a Cross- and from that Cross- where He is in agonizing pain, bleeding profusely, balancing Himself on nails He was attached to that Cross with, and dying for the sins of the world, He asks God to ‘forgive His torture-ers because they did not know what we were doing,’ (Luke 23.34) as they gambled to see who get His perfect seamless clothing.

I believe that many times my offenders do not know what they are doing. I am not certain, but I would hope that if they really knew the injury they were causing- whether it is physical harm, job loss, property loss, mocking, or any other hurt – they would not continue to harm me or others. Even if they do mean me harm, just as Jesus did, I am still instructed to forgive. Daily God forgives  me- for thinking unkind things, for not having faith, for ignoring Him, for trying to find my own way out of difficulties- taking my faith in vain- for treating the Holy as mundane and ordinary – when I need to pray for the awe that God deserves each and every day, for all the times I wish bad things to happen to the ones who hurt me… and on and on the list goes. He forgives me because I have no idea what I am doing at times. He even forgives me when I do know I am doing something wrong.

Forgiveness never makes what happened okay. Hurts and offenses will always come. Forgiveness allows me to heal and be free of the burden and hardship grudges bring. Selfishly, forgiveness is for me. It comes when I realize all I have been forgiven and I stop ‘collecting debts’ from others who do me wrong and forgive them because I realize how much I am forgiven. 1 Cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

All I have to do when I feel my hurt is look to the Man Who died for that hurt and the Divine example He showed me on that day- He forgave unspeakable offenses and really really meant it. He prayed for God to forgive them and me, too. He did so, not because He was told to, but because He wanted to.

Father, please help us forgive others as you have forgiven us.

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Sometimes I am confident and know exactly where I am going in life and how I want to get there. Directions are clear and I am on my way. Sometimes, however, I feel I wander aimlessly. No matter how hard I try, I cannot make decisions or decide which road to take.

Sometimes my preoccupation with the cares and stresses of life cause me to drift along my path and away from my close relationship to and with the God I love. Work and family and farm life and trying to rearrange my career goals distract me from Him. These times are always empty for me. I am not meant to be far from God. My very life depends on my connection with Him. When I feel distant from God, Something deep inside makes me realize He has never left me and I feel Something calling me back to Him. I make haste to again became a pilgrim on a road back to my close encounters with God. Even in the midst of confusion about life’s direction at times, the one thing I am sure of is having a heart that sincerely wants to ‘Go with God.’

It is my sincere desire for “(God) to imprint His laws upon my mind, even upon my inner most thoughts and understanding, and engrave them upon my heart, and (for Him to) be my God and me His child.” (Hebrews 8.10).   I want “it to not be necessary for others to teach me for I will know Him myself…” (Hebrews 8.11).

The children of Israel were frightened by God and did not want to hear from Him directly, but asked Moses to hear from Him and tell them what He said. (Exodus 20.19). I always wanted  – and want now – to hear from Him directly. He promised to teach us, talk to us, walk with us, be with us. What a thrill! I want the complete experience.

While comparing versions of the Bible, the New International Versions tells us in Psalm 84.5 “Blessed are those whose strength is in (God), who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.” My amplified Bible for this verse states, “Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man whose strength is in (God), in whose heart are the highways to Zion.” A little note I added in the margin of my Bible reminds me, “the road to Zion is in my heart.” The road to Zion- the city of our God – where we meet with the God of the Universe- is in our hearts.

While it is true, on occasion, my heart has wandered in life, His grace has always grabbed me again and again. I strive to always have my life on track with the God I love, navigating between the ditches of life with the One Who guides every step, opens every door, provides for every need, teaches me everything. Our hearts’ pilgrimage are in His hands. We are being pursued by the God Who loves us. Make the road to Zion a determined path in your life to God.

Easter will be celebrated soon. The road to Zion is possible because of the Road to Calvary by our Savior.

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I understand the Bible tells us not to fear 365 times. It is the most common ‘command’ in the Bible. Some say that it is one reminder each day of the year to ‘not fear.’ Why is it so hard to trust? I shouldn’t have, but I chuckled as I recently reviewed a journal entry from many years ago. I think I have come a little way along this journey of faith from where I was.

My journal entry referenced the verse 1 John 4.18:
“…. ‘fear has torment.’ What was it I feared?
I feared not getting better. I feared financial demise. I feared loneliness. I feared God would give up on me. I feared all the things I faced in life were too big for Him. I feared I did not have enough faith. I feared I would fail Him. I feared my fear. I feared my anger. I feared disappointing Him. I feared the future. I feared loss. I feared things I could never control. I feared. I feared. I feared-and I did have torment.

1 John 4.18 also says, ‘there is no fear in love – dread does not exist, perfect love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror!’

The wonderful truth is that God loves us. The bottom line was and is that all I could count on for sure is Jesus and His Word. If I truly believed what God’s Word says, there is no reason to fear. He is perfect Love and never fails us. How do we come to realize this everlasting love? (Jeremiah 31.3)

‘I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart and understanding may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people, and His incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength He exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated Him at his right hand in the heavenly realms..’ (Ephesians 1.17-20) I pray this because when this becomes real inside of us, we will not fear.

Just as Jesus showed His scars to His disciples in John 20.19-20,       “…though the disciples were behind closed doors for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, Peace to you!…He showed them His hands and His side,” He shows His scars to me- the price He paid for my peace, my restoration, my provision, my answers to prayers, my favor, my success, my beloved relationship with Him, my deliverance, my happiness, and more.

This poem sums it up:

Said the Robin to the Sparrow,
“I would really like to know
Why these anxious human beings
Rush about and worry so.”
Said the Sparrow to the Robin,
“Friend, I think that it must be,
That they have no Heavenly Father
Such as cares for you and me.”

We do have a Heavenly Father, such as cares for the sparrows. ‘Don’t be afraid, because you are move valuable than many sparrows.’   Matthew 10.31.

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There are times I am so convinced about my faith, nothing could shake it. Then, sometimes, something comes along and the world falls apart around me. Doubts seem to happen when I least expect them.

I am in good company. John the Baptist was related to Jesus and they must have grown up together. John is the one prophesied to come before Jesus, declaring, “Prepare the way of the Lord.” He baptized Jesus. I think then he was certain Jesus was the Messiah. However, John was jailed and sentenced to death. He sent his friends to ask if Jesus really was the Messiah. Many called John the Baptist a great man of God. Now, he sat in prison, probably wondering why he wasn’t delivered. Wondering why he was going to die. Wondering if Jesus truly was the Messiah, why He didn’t come to save him. I love Jesus’ reaction- He never responded negatively to his question. He never berated his doubts. In fact, He told the men- and I think very compassionately – tell John ‘this and this.’ He wanted John to be assured. The answer was ‘Yes, Jesus is the Messiah.’

In addition to John, the children of Israel asked “Is the Lord among us or not?” (Exodus 17.7). They experienced God’s deliverance from Egypt, protection from plagues, guidance and provision along the way after deliverance, and the parting of the Red Sea. They still doubted. God still led them, protected them, provided for them, and loved them. Sometimes I have to remind myself of how God has always come through for me too.

I also relate to when Moses cried to God with doubts and frustration. Exodus 5. 22-23 tells me, “Then Moses turned again to the Lord and said, O Lord, why have You dealt evil to this people? Why did You ever send me? For since I came to Pharoah to speak in Your name, he has done evil to this people, neither have You delivered Your people at all.”

Moses knew and loved God so well he came with honest frustration and doubt. God did not rebuke Moses. He was not angry. The Bible tells us, “Then the Lord said to Moses, Now you shall see what I will do …. for …(God said) …I am the Lord … I have …established My covenant and I WILL bring you out from under the burdens … and I WILL rescue you with an outstretched arm … I WILL take you to Me … I WILL be to you a God: and you will know that it is I … and I WILL bring you into the land … I swore that I would give ….”

Sometimes we feel doubts may be met with disappointment from the Lord, but we can be encouraged that when we come with humility and honesty, God will walk with us in our doubts until our doubts are turned to faith. His love is stronger than our doubts. He is able to bear questions. He is able to understand frustrations. I have been waiting for years for miracles in the lives of the people I love. God has promised deliverance from drugs, loneliness, hopelessness, child abuse issues, and more. Sometimes I exclaim, ‘He hasn’t delivered them at all.’ I choose to continue in faith until God utters the words – ‘Now you will see what I will do.’

As I wait, I sing:

I will praise You all my life,
I will sing to You with my whole heart
I will trust in You, my Hope and my and Help
My Savior and my Faithful God
Oh Faithful God, My Faithful God
You give me life
You uphold my cause
You dry my eyes
You’re always near
You’re a faithful God.

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These are the ‘good old days!’ Every day is a chance to make new and exciting memories. I do enjoy my ‘old’ memories too, though and at times I would like to go back in time.

As I sit and look at photos of times and those I love gone by, I think how wonderful it is to have memories. We are our memories. I remember trips to the St. Joseph Peninsula in the panhandle of Florida each year. My sister would pick me up at the airport as she drove through Panama City on her way to the campgrounds. We laughed and talked and it never seemed as though a year went by. Mom and my other sister were already there waiting for us.

We carried our groceries in the cabin and then headed for the beach -over a large sand dune to our lonely umbrella on the gorgeous beaches on the Gulf of Mexico. Fearing sharks, we only swam a short distance into the ocean waters. Each night we ran to the boardwalk near the campground to catch the sunset and each morning, my early rising sisters, would enjoy the sunrise.

These memories along with other memories of shared time with family and friends have made my life the extraordinary journey that it has been. Days on the river with my brother. Trips to Key West and other places. Even time shopping with friends I have known for years and talking over lunch are treasured times. In addition to people I have shared time with are the animals that have made my life terrific. Horses, dogs, and cats have come and gone. They have loved me and I have loved them in a way that is beyond description.

I miss my little Dachshund named “Tilly” every day. She was always happy and ready to ride in the car and experience new adventures with me. Whether it was a new lake or woods we wanted to explore, or a new park, she was in. Watching her age and her time running out was heart breaking. They say we should not be sad that our time together is over, but glad that it happened. I am both, happy and sad at the same time. One day I will be the one who is missed.

I understand Albert Einstein said time travel is possible. Not sure where we are on that possibility, but I hear we are trying to send people to Mars. Sometimes, when I sit and think of treasured times, and if I could, I would time travel back and do all the wonderful things I have done in life all over again. Wouldn’t that be terrific? Maybe yes, maybe no. Going back would not allow me to make new and great memories today and I think that is exactly what I am going to do today- make some new and great memories and have fun doing so. Hope you do too.

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Once I heard a story about a man walking down the road and happened upon a little robin lying on its back, with its feet sticking up in the air.

“Little Robin, why are you lying on your back in the middle of the road?” the man asked.
“The sky is falling, the sky is falling!” the Little Robin replied.
“But why are your feet sticking up in the air?” the man pressed.
“Because,” said the little bird, “one does what one can.”

As I laugh at the little bird thinking he could hold the sky in the sky with his little feet, I think of all the things I can do to help others in this world. It may sometimes seem as  impossible to help as holding the sky up, but I can pray, listen, talk, spend time, help them accomplish tasks, and more. Sometimes life becomes so challenging we may worry about our ability to make it through tough circumstances. Help – Divine and human-  is a welcome blessing in times of need.

My favorite author, CS Lewis, wrote in ‘A Grief Observed’ that “It does not matter what we believe until its truth or falsehood is a matter of life and death. It does not matter how strong the rope is until we need it to hold us.” It has always mattered to me that the God I love and believe in is the Living God and the Way to Heaven and real Life and is able to help at all times and in all circumstances. We have His Word on it.

The Bible tells me, “Yet amid all these things, we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loves us.” Romans 8.37

It’s funny to me that I have not heard many sermons taught from Job. Most talk about his sustaining faith under suffering. Some quote he was a ‘righteous man.’ (1.8) Some quote the profound utterances he made, such as “my Redeemer knows the way I take and when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” (23.10) and “though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” (13.13) And my favorite is how I am reminded ‘God restored double to him after his suffering.’ (42.10)

I truly love all these references to faith under heartbreaking and profound suffering.
I only wonder why many omit what I consider the ‘meat’ of this book. I see Job as a suffering and sometimes angry man.
Let me add some sample quotes:
“my spirit is broken, my days are spent..the grave is ready for me..” 17.1
“my complaint is bitter..” 23.2
“..but my eye pours out tears to God…” 16.20
“let me alone, so I may speak: and let come on me what may” 13.13
“I am weary of life and loathe it!” 10.1-22
“why did You bring me forth out of the womb?” 10.18
“why do You hide Your face…as if I were Your enemy.” 13.24
‘(is it because of sin?) 13.23
“surely I wish to speak to the Almighty, and argue.. that He may explain the conflict between what I believe of Him and what I see of Him.” 13.3
“Oh, that my impatience and vexation might be..weighed and all my calamity be laid up over against the other (to see if my grief is unmanly.) For now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea..6.1-30

As I read Job, it appears to me this man is suffering to the deepest part of his being. I, like Job, aspire to say, “and He Who vouches for me is on high.” (16.19) And Job also exclaimed, “Indeed, this will turn out for my deliverance.” Job 13.16 (NIV)

I know heartache and suffering happens. God was Job’s rope and it was a matter of life and death to him if God was able to sustain him and bring him to a better place after his heartache and suffering ended. God is our Rope. He is our Deliverer. We can trust the Man Who died for us to be with us at all times and in all circumstances.

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I love charcoal fires. The warmth and the crackling sounds remind me of slower times and easier days. I enjoy sitting around them talking, laughing, and sometimes singing with the sounds of frogs and insects in the background. I love roasting marshmallows and cooking over the fire. Once I was camping with a friend and we made breakfast, lunch, and dinner for three days over the coal fire. Yummy. Even thinking about the times around a charcoal fire invokes all the memories and emotions associated with those times.

There are only two times in the Bible when a charcoal fire is mentioned. The first time is in the middle of the night, when Jesus was being beaten and sentenced to death, Peter warmed himself by a charcoal fire and denied Jesus three times. (John 18.18.) Jesus knew Peter would deny Him and even told him so. Peter emphatically said he would never deny Jesus, but he did what he never wanted to do. Standing by that fire of coals, he denied he knew Him. Perhaps he was overwhelmed with the atrocity that was happening to the Savior, but when the rooster crowed, he had denied Jesus three times. Jesus not only knew the future events in Peter’s life, He knew Peter would need healing and restoration.

So, on that post resurrection morning, Jesus went to the sea where Peter and some others had gone back fishing. He built a charcoal fire on the beach and began cooking. (John 21.9) Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. How the smell and warmth of those coals must have burned in his mind as he remembered those moments and the sorrow for denying the Savior. But, the Great Psychiatrist took Peter back to the painful time and memories and Peter received healing and restoration.

Jesus has walked with all of us every day of our lives. There is no event He has not witnessed or been close to us during. He knows every hurt or disappointment or painful memory that has ever happened to each of His children and He wants us to be healed. He died on a Cross and rose from the dead to heal us. The Bible tells us ‘the punishment needful for us to obtain peace was put on Him.’ (Isaiah 53.5) When a situation ‘pushes buttons’ or creates anxiety in us or causes us to have uncomfortable memories, this is a signal there is some deep hurt that needs the touch of the Savior. It is these moments Jesus takes us back to the charcoal fires in our lives to touch those painful memories and restore us to Himself.

Like Peter, life bumps us and we hurt – sometimes very deep hurts and scars.  Sometimes we fall. Sometimes we are not people we wish we were. If we do not receive the touch of the Lord, these hurts may hinder us in relationships and happiness. Jesus knows.

Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him- I think because Peter denied Him three times. Exasperated with shame, Peter said, “Lord you know all things, You know I love You.” Jesus did know Peter loved Him, He knows we love Him, He knows we make mistakes and need His love desperately. I say this too, “Lord, You know I love You.” I pray for all of you to love Him too.

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