Here we go again, another New Year! In 1966, the year 2018 seemed like something in a science fiction movie, but here it is.

Dickens inspires me- If I talk of New Years Past, I vividly remember one New Year’s Eve in Cleveland, Ohio. While employed with the city ambulance, and transporting patients to and from the hospitals, I noticed a man pushing another man in a wheelchair in the street. He was pushing him from one tavern to another. I chuckle as I write this because I chuckled when I saw it. The site of these two pitiful men oddly enough touched my heart. The man in the wheelchair was quite large, and the man pushing was struggling- dedicated to making it to the next tavern. He chose to push the wheelchair through the streets because the sidewalks were snow covered. I remember thinking- what a friend. After their New Year’s Eve activities, I imagined the man pushing would return the man in the wheelchair to his home, help him to bed, and be done with the night. Although I have never consumed an alcoholic beverage and do not condone it – especially on New Year’s Eve, the act of friendship and camaraderie was impressive. Would I go to such lengths to help someone else?

Here is New Year’s Present. This year is filled with memories of the past year and all that has been accomplished and all that has been lost. Auld Lang Syne for sure. New employment opportunities have come my way, new books published, new friends made. Finances have been less of a struggle. Also, new adventures have happened – including a trip to my favorite Sea World. In addition to all the happy events, we lost my brother this year. This New Year’s Eve he celebrates with the King and we miss him. A mixture of sad and happy seems to be the usual agenda when it comes to memories.

And, we have New Year’s Future. Most of us are excitedly looking forward to what will happen this year? Will we have more new adventures, meet new people, experience new employment challenges, have better finances, beat that addiction, see our children prosper? I did not consider any resolutions because I never keep them, but I do want to make this a new year of opportunities to help family members and friends make it through another year with happy moments. I want to do my best to pray for the ones I love and know are having difficulties as well as share happy moments with others. This year will be another year to make memories that will last a lifetime for us and the ones we love. I am certain this year will be like all the others- some will welcome new members to the family and friend list, some will say good-bye to ones they love. Some will find new jobs or make new lives in another place. Some will marry and some will begin an educational adventure. Some may be lonely.

We all share one thing- we will all walk through the New Year. We can make it extraordinary. We can take opportunity to see the good in all those around us and make it a great year for everyone.

To friends and family- Happy New Year and God Bless us Everyone!

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And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. Luke 2.8-14.

.. Then the shepherds went quickly and found Mary, and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger. Luke 2.15-16

Jesus is the reason for the season we celebrate now. May Jesus fill your homes and hearts with the truth that He was born so many years ago to live, die, and raise from the dead so you and I can receive the greatest gift- God with us. The gift of real life here on Earth and eternal life and knowing Him. All our answered prayers, deliverance from struggles, happiness, peace, having our names written in the Book of Life in heaven and more.

Merry Christmas. God Bless us everyone.

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I think many wonder what they can do for God? After all, we can’t change people and God is the great and powerful and able One. We may feel like the small cub in the picture- essentially powerless or inadequate to help, but God – like the cub’s mama –  is always with us to help and protect. God chooses us to work with Him- imperfect or inadequate as we may be.

I find the ones Jesus chose to be a motley crew. James and John were the ‘sons of thunder’ -having tempers it seems (Mark 3.17), Peter denied Him (John 18.27), Paul was Saul and was a murderer (Acts 7.58), Thomas doubted (John 20.27), David had an affair and was a murderer, (2 Samuel 11), Jonah ran from God (Jonah 1.3), Gideon required a sign from God, (Judges 6.36) and on and on the list goes. I think they are included to let us know we are not alone when it comes to imperfection. (We need to keep trying though.)

I once told God I was not strong. He said He did not come for strong people. I said I was not well. He said He did not come for well people. I said I was not even good. He said the story is not about me. I smile as I write this, because the story truly is about Him and not me. 2 Corinthians 4.7 reminds me- we possess this Precious Treasure – the Good News of Jesus- in our frail selves, so that the greatness can be seen to be from God, and not ourselves.

John 21 tells that after Jesus was crucified, buried, and rose from the dead 3 days later- just like He told His followers  – His disciples went back fishing. What were they thinking? I can only assume that they felt the One they loved and followed was now dead and gone and they had no life to live but the lives they knew before. Jesus didn’t hold this against them. They were His boys and He went to get them. I can see Him that day on the shore, making breakfast for them, inviting them to come– waving them in- my mind hears Him saying, ‘Come on boys, I’ll explain it one more time…”

In Matthew 28.16-20, the passage tells that after Jesus rose from the dead, He and the remaining eleven disciples went to the mountain where Jesus ascended to heaven. They fell down and worshiped Him, but ‘some doubted.’ How could they doubt? They walked with Him for three years watching Him turn water into wine, raise the dead, heal lepers, give blind men sight, feed thousands with a few loaves, saw Him alive after He was brutally crucified, and more.

I have no stones to throw. I have walked with Him for over forty years and have seen Him do more miracles than I can say, but, I am ashamed to admit, I still doubt. He still loves me. His love never fails.

His message is the same today. He still comes for us no matter how many times we think we cannot do something or that we miss the road or we think we are forgotten or got it all wrong. We are His. He loved that motley crew so many years ago and He still loves and uses imperfect, weak, doubting, people today. He wants us to do His work. He’s counting on us.

So, what can we do for God? We can give a cup of cold water in His name. (Matthew 10.42) We may not preach to millions and convert thousands, but we see people every day that need our smile, a pat on the back, a hug, listened to, time spent with, a few dollars for a meal, a ride somewhere, shopping for them. Yes, we can all give a ‘cup of cold of water.’ We can all do work for God every day as we help those in our lives. I may not be able to change the struggles my loved ones face, even though I desperately want them to be well, but I can help ease the suffering they feel each day and continue to love them.

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This is the season of love. We celebrate Jesus being born and God coming to us- Emmanuel. The Bible tells us ‘the Word became Flesh and dwelt among us.’ John 1.14. Thankfully, He stills dwells among us.

What does it mean for Him to dwell with us? He is with us to teach us, guide us, help us, and many other things. One of the most important things is to love us. The Bible wonderfully tells us in Ephesians 3.  “…may God grant you… to be rooted and grounded in the amazing and endless love of God  and able to comprehend … the width and depth and height, and length of this love. .. ” WOW! What a prayer for each and every one of us. To be loved. I am convinced that each and every person I know just wants to feel loved.

One of the great attributes of love is forgiveness. We all know the Lord’s prayer- forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Sometimes the chains that bind us to addiction, depression, eating disorders, compulsive behaviors, and other struggles, do so because the difficulty is rooted in unforgiveness. It does not mean that what the person who hurt us did is suddenly a justifiable thing. Some hurts and offensives truly do seem unforgivable. I can think of stories I have heard of severe hurts in this lifetime that never should have happened. Most of us can identify with this. But, our emotional and mental health depend on forgiving the ones- even the unforgivable. Everyone has a free will and some choose to do bad deeds instead of good deeds. This is our fallen world.

Not to be too preachy (probably too late for that) – is the parable Jesus told in Luke 7.41-49. He said there was a man who owed millions of dollars. He could not pay and begged for relief from his debt. His debt was forgiven. But then, he was owed a few dollars and took the man who owed him by the neck and demanded to be paid – he refused to forgive the little he was owed. When the original man who was owed millions of dollars heard of the forgiven man’s behavior, he was angry and asked him why he did not forgive the little he was owed when he was forgiven an enormous debt? This parable applies to us. We have been forgiven a debt we are unable to pay. So it is with us, we cannot be free unless we forgive. It is not for the benefit of the one who needs forgiving, but the one choosing to forgive.

I encourage you to make a list of the debts owed to you, thank the Baby Born in Bethlehem for forgiving you, forgive the one who owed you, nail that debt to the Cross, and be free. This is not meant to be trivial. It takes much determination to forgive and the hurts can be very real and very big to us, but it is the Light that takes us out of pain into the freedom that God intends for all of us to enjoy.

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Just finished a phone call with a cherished client. She has an appointment to see me in the veterinary office in two days. She tells me she’s looking forward. When I asked how her Rufus is, she responded, “He is lovely. I look at him and he is always fabulous to me. I have been so blessed to have him and Bumbles in my life.” Bumbles is her other lovely pet.

I was touched by her words because Rufus is struggling. She loves him. She doesn’t see him in a negative light. His liver is hurting and he is losing weight. His owner and I do not know why his liver is struggling, but we know it is. Testing can be costly and may only lead to answers and not solutions. He gives the best kisses, though. He is happy and when he wags his stump of a tail in the office, his entire body shakes. Rufus is one of those pets you wish you could give tons more years of happiness to their owner.

There are times for puppies – many will be added to lucky families this season and through the New Year. And then, sometimes, there is cherishing every day being spent with a beloved pet as time goes by. Cherish the moments they greet us and love us and keep us company. Another client is just trying to have their kitty through the holidays. I am hoping the same for them.

I have been there. I suppose many of us have – not only with our pets, but our loved ones. It’s true, we look at our loved ones – like our pets-  through our biased hearts. I know the people I love in life always look superb to me and I want others to think they are wonderful as well. I want them to know I will love them perfect or imperfect- it matters no difference to me, I see them as valuable and lovable and worthy.

Additional family members are not with us this Christmas and it is a challenge to continue to enjoy the season sometimes.  I want to cherish the ones I have still with me and celebrate a Baby born for all of us. I hope the same for all of you.

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The day of thanks is here again. There is always something to be thankful for. Sometimes it’s difficult to find that something, I realize. When I was struggling, my “Thankful” jar was empty. I could not find one thing to be thankful for. This is a shame-on-me thing because the truth was, I had many things to be thankful for.

Maybe the car doesn’t work, anxiety is overwhelming, thoughts of quitting or hopelessness plague, bills are mounting, loneliness is discouraging, the kids aren’t behaving, health issues are worrisome, things aren’t going the way hoped, the addiction is unbearable, and more. I could name a hundred things that seemed to be going wrong.

As I prayed and kept trudging ahead, I began to make a choice to offer God a ‘sacrifice of praise ‘ as in Psalm 27.6. I felt better when I did. I started by being thankful for living free in America, having great friends and family, God with me, and every simple thing I could think of to try to find at least ONE thing a day to be thankful for each day. Eventually, the list began to grow.

I am sorry to admit that being thankful was a sacrifice for me because my tendency is to only see the difficulties and not ‘count my blessings’ as often spoke about. I was a ‘glass 1/2 empty’ glass kinda girl. As I studied to help with the struggles I faced and what I share with others I know struggle, the scripture 2 Corinthians 10.4 became meaningful. This tells us- ‘ the weapons of our warfare… are strong and mighty…’

I find that the struggles we face are sometimes attacks by dark forces. We are in a battle whether or not we or our loved ones want to be. I wondered what ‘our weapons’ were. I realized one of my strongest weapons against the depression and struggles-and I know are helpful with addictions, compulsions, eating disorders- any struggle – is praise and a thankful heart. Being thankful is a form of praise.

The most difficult thing I experienced was the thought of being thankful for the struggle I faced. I never thought I could be thankful for the pain. The Bible tells me to be thankful in all things. (1 Thesselonians 5.18) Over time, I did begin to thank God for the pain I experienced and the situations I felt were bad and could never be considered good in life. Now, I am thankful to God for having sent the struggles into my life because they served as my pathway to Him. I know Him in a way I would never have known Him without them. Also, I became free of the struggle as the days continued.

George Mueller refers to Ro. 8.28 when he reminds us, ‘In 1,000 trials, it is not 500 of them that work for the believer’s good, but 999 and one beside.’  All things in our life work together for good. Even the broken things and pain and discouragement and struggle I faced and we all face.

I pray for any struggling person-no matter the struggle, to find something to be thankful for and to have eyes to see that the struggle they are in can be their pathway to the Living God and become good for them and others they will eventually help in life.

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Am I my brother’s keeper? This question intrigues me. In the society I find myself, it appears the message is to think of oneself above all else – let everyone else find their own way. How does a hurting person find their way?

One story in the Bible blesses me very time I read it. It’s the story about a paralyzed man’s friends. These four friends heard about Jesus healing the sick and decided they wanted to take their friend to Him. The four of them carried the paralyzed man. When they arrived at the home where Jesus was, they were unable to get him in because there were too many people in the way. I can just see these friends looking at the paralyzed man saying, ‘Don’t you worry, we’re going to get you to Him no matter what it takes.’ They made a hole in the roof of the house and let the man down to be healed by Jesus. What great friends. We’ll get you there- was the only thing they had on their minds. This scripture reference is found in the second chapter of the Gospel of Mark.

I have friends like that. My friend wanted to get me help so much she took me to a Bible study in the basement of the home of a man of God that prayed for me. My life was saved and changed. Do you have friends like that? Are you a friend like that?

Another of my favorite scripture references is in Nehemiah 4:14 which says, ‘when Nehemiah saw their fear, he stood and said to everyone –  “Do not be afraid ….. confidently remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and with courage from Him fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and for your homes.” ‘ Fight for them. Fight for the ones your know – the ones struggling with addiction, depression, heartache, loneliness, eating disorders, and all other struggles. You may be the only one fighting for them – along with the Savior, of course. 

Yes, I think we are our brothers’ keepers. Also in the Bible, in Esther- 8.6, it tells us Esther saw her people were in danger and she expressed, “How can I bear to see disaster fall on my people? How can I bear to see the destruction of my family?”

Do you feel at a loss? Do our prayers work for others who are not praying for themselves? I say, “Yes.” Prayer is the mystery of Christianity. We are commanded to pray. The Word of God assures us that, “the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” James 5.16. Also, we see in Daniel, chapter 9, that Daniel prayed for his country- a country NOT praying for itself. We can make a difference.

I don’t know everyone and I don’t know everyone’s struggle, but my prayer is for you struggling one- is for hope and help, for you to know God and loved ones are with you and care and for others of you to hold the hand of everyone you know is struggling and walk with them, care for them, love them. For you to pray for them to be free of the struggles they face and find hope and healing. Don’t worry about the perfect words or anything, God wants this for them, so these prayers will be answered. His Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Amen.

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Many may ask- “How would a blog about looking for the Light apply to me?” Maybe it wouldn’t, maybe it would. I know I went looking for the Light until I found it to help me with some struggles.

There is an old saying, “It takes one to know one.” I never understood that until I became one- a struggling person. For instance, I understood that no one knew and understood someone who struggled with alcohol or other addictions as one who experienced these struggles themselves. I think my talent is in identifying those struggling with deep hurts that they may not even know are inside.

Some say, ‘leave the past in the past,’ or ‘just forget things and move on,’ as well as other well – meaning words of advice. These may not be the most helpful suggestions though. Do deep hurts of the past just go away with time? I don’t think I can be convinced of this.

Recently I met more people that convinced me that past hurts that are very deep do not just disappear with time, but shape our thoughts and actions and things that happen to us- in positive as well as negative ways. I find myself wanting to ask, “Were you loved properly?” “Were you protected?” “Can you say someone made you feel like you were the most special and loved little one in the whole world?” “Did anyone squeeze you in their arms to tell you how much you meant to them?” “Were there cruel words spoken to you by others that hurt deeply?”

When seeking truth and the Light, I remembered the nursery rhyme, “Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been? I’ve been to England to see the Queen. Pussy cat, pussy cat, what saw you there? I saw a mouse run under her chair.”

What I realized when I read this rhyme is that this cat was in the presence of greatness and royalty, however, only noticed an insignificant mouse run under the chair. It was illuminated to me that we, at times, disregard the ‘real’ or ‘significant’ issues, while we notice less significant ‘mice’ run under the chair. To clarify, issues with addiction, social isolation, compulsive behaviors, eating disorders, anxiety, and such, are all issues that need help, but they really signify deeper hurts inside the person struggling with these outward behaviors. These deep hurts go unnoticed and unaddressed because so much attention is paid to the symptom of the struggle instead of the reason for the struggle. And to clarify, I don’t think struggles are ‘insignificant.’

I am convinced all of us are ‘bumped’ in this fallen world. We all at times received a less than expected deal or treatment. Whether this was the loss of a parent or significant person in life, abuse of any kind, lack of guidance or affirmation as a child, school traumas, made to feel as if we do not measure up, as well as many other hurts that happen on a daily basis. These can be a cause of significant hurts that remain deep in our beings – especially if they happened when we were young.

I also realize there is a ‘stigma’ in admitting to others that we struggle. For goodness sake, there are medications to make us feel better when we really don’t. We live in a world of Prozac and Xanax to solve all the problems we seem to face. I wanted real answers and solutions and not cover up medications to get me through the days.

And that is why I sought the Light and sought answers in life. I felt misunderstood and abandoned, however, my search led me to the scriptures that helped me see Jesus as being there each step of my life each day. I was touched when I read that now and when I was a child in particular that in heaven my angels were always in the presence of and looked upon the Father Who is in heaven. (Matthew 8.10) I realized He was always connected to me personally and intimately.

Could there be deep hurts inside that have been there a long time? Do you think no one was there when you needed someone to be there? Do you think time has passed and things should no longer bother you, but something deep inside feels confused or sad or do things you don’t understand or think less of yourself than you should?

Keep tuned in for more to come.

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My sister in law once said, “We curse the darkness, but we forbid anyone to light a candle.”

The darkness. I suppose that could be loneliness for some. Single motherhood for others. Divorce, death, alcohol or chemical addiction, compulsive tendencies, eating disorders, anger and unforgiveness issues, a past riddled with abuse, being an orphan, losing a child or never having a child or a spouse, and other struggles are the darkness for many. For others, the darkness is also the deep feelings of being unwanted, unloved, defective, unworthy, unlovable, lost, worthless, helpless, hopeless, never measuring up, like they don’t ‘fit in,’ and feelings of failure- to name a few.

Mother Teresa is quoted as saying, ‘Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.’ Although I think no one should go hungry, I certainly pray no one feels forgotten or unloved or unwanted.

No, life is certainly not all butterflies and daisies for some. For some, it is a real struggle to get through each day. Where does one turn for help? Where does one turn for answers.

When I was in the darkness in life- one particular very dark place – I needed some candles to light my way out of the dark of deep despair. My story had to do with deep depression and other things. When trying to figure out why I was struggling so, I came across some helpful information I wanted to share.

First, I learned that God’s Word says ‘A merry heart is like good medicine, a cheerful mind works healing, but a wounded spirit, who can bear this?’ Proverbs 17.22. I realized I was not meant to be wounded and that was why I wasn’t handling it well.

It also says, ‘He gives beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for morning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.’ Isaiah 61.3.  I often wondered how my ashes could ever be something beautiful. This took time to sink in.

While in the pit I was in, the Light finally came. The truth was I was not defective. I was not helpless or worthless. I was not unlovable. The lies I believed were what were killing me, the ‘Truth began to set me free.’ John 8.32. The truth was lovely and kind and wonderful.

How? Slowly, I began to learn. I read about how God felt about me and you. How He treasures us more than anything in this world. The Bible says, ‘The Earth is the Lord’s and the fullness of it,’ Psalm 24.1. He showed me that even though He owns everything in this world, we are His most precious possession. More than houses and cars and boats and everything, He considers us what He treasures and loves beyond our ability to comprehend at times.

When God opened my eyes to see how He treasured me above anything else, I felt loved. Hope filled my heart.

The Bible also tells me that God’s thoughts are precious towards me and they are so vast they are more in number than the sand! Psalms 139.17-18. What an amazing thing to tell me.

There is hope for a hurting world. His Name is still Jesus. Take a ride with us for a few weeks as we light some candles.

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Love is tough. I don’t always know what to say to others, but I sure do see love everywhere I look. For instance, my girlfriend’s son recently moved 1,000 miles and many States away. She is heartbroken, but she loves him and wants him to be happy. She is tough.

My other girlfriend travels over 80 miles each day to fight alongside the team of doctors, nurses, physical therapies, respiratory therapists and others to save her husbands life as he struggles to recover from a recent surgery. She is tired but sees the little improvements each day and continues to hope in the recovery of the one she has loved for many years.

Another girlfriend is helping her daughter with her addiction struggles and recent legal concerns. She has spent thousands of dollars for legal help and is working overtime to pay for the debts incurred. She drives her places to show her she is not alone in her struggle. They spend time doing crafts like making wreaths of autumn pine cones, laughing, having coffee, and sharing time together. She wants her daughter to know she is loved. She shared with me that she told her daughter her commitment to her began with her first breath and will end with my friend’s last breath.  Tough love.

My other friend visits a man in a wheelchair every day to share lonely and long hours with him. They talk about sky diving experiences they both shared as well as other things ‘guys’ talk about. An expression of love day after day when he could be doing other things.

I see love when folks move family members into their homes that have no where else to go. Sharing a life and living arrangements can be difficult – sometimes we consider this an invasion of privacy and life, but tough love does what is necessary. My Grandfather taught me that you take care of the ones you love. Love is grocery shopping, cooking, doing wash, and all the other acts of love that go unnoticed in a usual day for others that need a hand. Sometimes it is more difficult with more in a home and sometimes the ones in the home have medical concerns. Tough love keeps plugging along.

Love is sharing a meal with a homeless person.  Taking time to be friends with the friendless people. It is not just a 5 minute event to share someone’s life and help when needed.

I often hear others say- give them ‘tough love.’ Usually they mean let them figure it all out by themselves- let them alone in the struggle. Sometimes that helps folks get to the end of their ropes. I cannot go to the beach when the ones I love need help and love.  I just can’t.

The toughest love I have experienced is saying good- bye. When it comes time for someone we love to go Home, it can be the hardest thing we ever do, but that is loving them too. I watched my brother in pain and unable to breathe and finally watched him go Home to be in Paradise with the God I love. I feel weak at times, but I know love is tough and will get me through.

I’ll bet you know people who love when it isn’t easy. When they are the only people that that struggling person has to help – make a meal, provide a home, share time. We are in this together. We are not alone.

1 Corinthians 13 tells me Love is… kind.. love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things… love never fails. Even if I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but do not have love, everything else I do amounts to nothing. Of love, hope and faith, the greatest is love.

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